Sunday, November 18, 2007

Teenage asks about birth

Knowledge about the "third opening" is relieving also when it comes to the worries over birth.

"I couldn't see how the baby was going to get out of either of the other two holes," young teenage Betty confides. "It makes a difference, though, knowing you've got such a stretchable place."

Her mother nods, "I used to think I'd burst when I had a child. Before I knew there was an opening that could stretch wide enough to let the baby through . . ."

"I used to think . . .

"I used to think . . ."

Betty chatters on, and Mother listens, adding just enough about her own former childish ideas to let Betty feel that she herself was not strange, different or "bad" because of what she had felt and thought.

"You can help lay the ghost of these earlier fantasies by talking about them," Betty's mother had learned.

"It must hurt all the same, Mom. Doesn't it--just terribly --when the baby gets born?"

"It used to, in our grandmother's day. It still did in mine. And I guess in some instances it does now. But doctors have developed new methods of pain killing. And there are ways, too, of exercising and preparing one's muscles during pregnancy that make it possible to have what's called 'painless' or 'natural childbirth.' There are books about it one can get."

"Before I have a baby, I will."

Then, after a moment, "Mother, . . . tell me . . . something else I've wondered about for the longest time. Doesn't it bother you to have a baby pulling at your breasts when it feeds?"

"I used to think it would, so I didn't nurse you children. But I wish now I had. They say it feels good."

"You mean to the mother?"

"Yes. Sort of thrilly and cozy and warm."

Betty glanced toward her mother, her face illumined. This was something new and wonderful, having mother talk about good feelings that could come to one's body. She sighed contentedly, "Gee, Mother! And I'll bet it feels good to the baby too."

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